前世赫洛混跡太多次高档场合，此时面对眼前经典形象的官僚，自己竟分不清对方是傻子还是人精。

秉承著做多就是错多的原则，他决定待信使行事后再顺势而为。

惊恐的老霍恩不顾吱呀作响的骨头，忙不叠地从幕后衝上台踉蹌行礼。

那信使却直接无视了老头，顶著大肚子负手渡步，一番酝酿后，他清了清嗓子，將肥厚的双下巴对著人群：“各位尘芯村的村民，请容许吾自我介绍一下。”

“吾乃忠诚的元素之神信徒、尊贵的教会信使、光明隨身伴行的引路人、百姓爱戴的父母官、菲利斯坦家族的荣光——圣·布兰登·亚黎西斯·菲利斯坦公爵！”

“遥想千年歷史的凯珂亚帝国，回望艰苦而辉煌的岁月，吾之家族……”

接下来的十几分钟，这位公爵將他镀金的政绩和显赫的家族成就重头梳理，如同一叠厚重的废纸砸得眾人头晕目眩。他还会故意停顿，等待村民配合的掌声。

村民们被折磨得昏昏沉沉，却又不敢表露不满，只能如同机械般在关键处鼓掌“工作”。

赫洛长跪不起，嘴角微微抽搐。眼前的信使远比他想像的昏庸无能。

直到將村民们耐心耗尽，信使才意犹未尽地结束了自我吹嘘，谈及正事。

“咳！”他再次清了清嗓子，“吾放下身段来此穷乡僻壤，就是为了传达教皇的神諭，指引勇者前往帝都，以应对帝国极西新发现的恶魔城！”

他的目光如同施捨赏给了赫洛，“好在吾慧眼识珠，远在天边就发现了蒙尘珍宝。”

他终於將赫洛扶起，“我已经听说了，这位新晋勇者，不仅直接得到了女神的恩赐，还时刻不忘宣扬教皇倡导的『爱与救赎』伟大思想，简直就是我们每个人学习的榜样。”

这番冠冕堂皇的话虽然滑稽，但也意外担保了“神选勇者”的事实。

赫洛心中讥笑，面上却受宠若惊：“能得圣·布兰登·亚黎西斯·菲利斯坦公爵大人赏识，是在下的无上荣耀。”

圣·布兰登十分满意，赫洛很会捧场，记住了他的大名。

他从怀中取出一条用金银丝线交错缝绣的洁白丝绸飘带，“此乃教会认证的授勋荣誉，佩戴它行走於每一寸王土，人人皆需遵守礼节，献上敬意。”

接著，他又打开封裹的丝绸，拿出印著华丽蜡封的信件，“此乃前往帝都总教会报到的文书。持此文凭，方可参与教会安排的勇者试炼与评定，务必妥善保管。”

赫洛双手恭敬地接过飘带和文书，其中蕴含的复杂魔法公式触手可知。

交付完正事，信使还想在台上发表一番感悟，作为自己的退场仪式。

村长霍恩审时度势，堆满諂媚的笑容，凑到其耳边低声私语。

只见信使还故作矜持地皱了皱眉，隨即双手在空中隱晦地捏了捏，又舔了舔他那噁心的厚嘴唇。

霍恩村长心领神会，低声下气连连点头。

信使还没满足，他瞪著赫洛，挑了挑眉，又搓了搓食指。

“？”

“哎呀，他一个小孩哪懂这些……”老霍恩赶紧护在二人中间，把一个更小的信封夹在旅店的菜单里，塞给信使。

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